I'm leaving dA. Some people may be surprised, others may not be. And all be honest, there are several reasons why.

Right now I'm recovering from a deep hurt that was dealt by someone who I let get very deep inside my heart. This is a girl who for a year and a half has been someone I confided in and told almost everything that happened, no matter how stupid it was. Because I trusted her. I don't want her to read this and think that she's damaged me more than she has.

Over the past year, I've done a lot of changing. I reastablished boundries that I had let fall. I've opened myself to a lot of things that I never would have before.

I when I rebuilt those, it required getting rid of a lot of things that meant a lot to me.

Because of throwing stuff away, I grew closer to myself, and closer to my God. Which was worth so much more than I can say.

SHe took offense. She insulted me. And I began to lie, because I didn't want to keep taking her insults.

Finally, she couldn't stand who I became.

I don't think I would have minded so much if I hadn't felt so degraded. She made it sound as though our friendship had meant nothing to her. And she made me feel that to remain friends, I had to bend over backwards to be what she wanted me to be.

It was a relief to have her end it. I was sick of lying, and pretending that what she said didn't hurt.

You know what? It did hurt. But it wasn't her fault. I was trying to connect with someone who I no longer had anything with.

I'll admit, it still hurts when I think about her. But at the same time, I'm learning to truly live as myself. That's what she told me to do. She just didn't like what happened when I did.

SO I take a deep breath, I say a prayer for strength, and I can get through the day. And beyond that, my life has become busier. I now have a job, and I'm working on getting moved to a different department.

And I have other friends who are helping me through this.

But I know I'll always miss her.

You were a friend.
A teacher.
A confidant.
There was a time when you cared.
A time when you cried.
Until the time I lied.
Goodbye, and good luck.
Whatever path you take, my friend
I hope you are blessed.

And to all the people here, who have become friends with, I've laughed with you, and talked with you.

Thank you for all I've learned. For your comments. For the time. For your love.